Trauma and Your Inner Child

Written By Stephanie Spjuth

Trauma and Your Inner Child

When we experience trauma, especially in childhood, it can profoundly shape how we view the world and ourselves. Complex PTSD (CPTSD), which often results from prolonged or repeated trauma such as childhood abuse, neglect, or relational trauma, can impact many areas of life. Symptoms may include:

  • Difficulty regulating emotions

  • Challenges with identity and sense of self

  • Strained relationships or fear of closeness

  • Anxiety, flashbacks, or nightmares

  • Avoidance of situations, places, or people linked to the trauma

  • Heightened emotional responses, such as impulsivity or aggression

  • Persistent negative thoughts and feelings

  • Hypervigilance or excessive attention to potential danger

CPTSD can also affect how we show up in relationships. Individuals may struggle with trust, fear rejection, have difficulty setting boundaries, or find themselves repeating familiar trauma patterns. Emotional dysregulation can make expressing feelings safely challenging, and hypervigilance may make ordinary interactions feel threatening.

When Trauma Triggers Younger Parts of Ourselves

Sometimes, trauma activates parts of ourselves that carry younger experiences—our inner child. When this happens, we may not behave like the adult we want to be. We might know intellectually how we want to respond, yet still react through old patterns.

Acknowledging and soothing your inner child is a key part of healing. This process, often called “reparenting,” involves offering the care and support that you needed as a child but didn’t receive. Here’s a step-by-step approach:

  1. Tune into your body
    Notice where you are feeling triggered. How old does this part of you feel? Often, it may feel younger than you are now.

  2. Identify the emotions
    What is this part feeling—sadness, grief, jealousy, fear? Allow the emotions to exist without trying to change them in the moment.

  3. Validate the experience
    All emotions are valid, even if not all behaviors are. Acknowledge that this part’s feelings are real and understandable.

  4. Offer reassurance
    Let your inner child know that you are present, you will protect them, and that they are not alone. Repeat this as often as needed.

It may not work perfectly at first, but with regular practice, tuning into your body and attending to its needs can help you regulate emotions more effectively and respond from a place of compassion rather than old trauma patterns.

Stephanie Spjuth