Feeling Like a Perpetual Child: Healing the Parts of Us That Never Got to Grow Up
Have you ever looked around and felt like everyone else somehow “got the memo” on how to be an adult — while you’re still stuck feeling like a lost kid inside?
That sense of being a perpetual child — uncertain, dependent, fearful, or yearning for someone to just “take care of it all” — can be one of the quietest yet most painful experiences for survivors of complex PTSD (C-PTSD) and childhood trauma.
This isn’t immaturity. It’s survival.
Why Trauma Keeps Us Young
When we grow up in environments that are unsafe, unpredictable, or emotionally neglectful, parts of us stop developing.
The nervous system becomes wired for survival, not growth. Instead of learning trust, autonomy, and self-soothing, we learn vigilance, compliance, or withdrawal.
In Complex PTSD, this often shows up as:
Feeling emotionally younger than your chronological age
Struggling to make decisions without reassurance
Difficulty with self-regulation or “meltdowns” that seem disproportionate
Craving safety and guidance while resenting authority figures
Feeling “behind” in life, no matter how much you achieve
These are not character flaws — they’re echoes of a child who didn’t get to feel safe enough to mature naturally.
The Perpetual Child and the Inner Family
Internal Family Systems (IFS) offers a compassionate lens for this.
In IFS, the psyche is seen as a system of “parts” — inner children, protectors, managers, exiles — all trying to keep us safe in their own ways.
The perpetual child might actually be:
A younger exile holding deep loneliness, fear, or shame.
A dependent part who learned to survive by clinging or pleasing.
Or a dreamer part, stuck waiting for rescue — for the parent that never came.
IFS invites us not to shame or suppress these parts, but to get curious about them.
When we turn inward with compassion, we start to differentiate between our wounded child and our Self — the calm, capable, loving core that trauma couldn’t destroy.
Reparenting: Becoming the Adult You Needed
Reparenting is the practice of meeting those unmet needs — as the adult you are now.
It’s learning to hold your inner child with the same patience, safety, and nurturing that you once longed for.
Some ways this might look:
Self-soothing instead of self-criticizing: “It’s okay that I feel scared. I’ve got you.”
Setting boundaries that a child couldn’t set.
Celebrating small wins instead of chasing impossible perfection.
Playing again — reclaiming joy, spontaneity, and creativity that trauma once froze.
Reparenting isn’t pretending you had a different childhood. It’s creating the safety now that you didn’t get then.
The Grief of Growing Up Late
Healing often comes with grief — for the years you spent surviving instead of living, for the milestones you missed, for the versions of yourself that never got to flourish.
But grief is also a sign of thawing. It means the frozen parts are melting, and life — messy, vibrant, unpredictable life — is returning.
You’re Not Broken. You’re Healing.
If you feel like a perpetual child, remember: that part of you is not evidence of failure.
It’s evidence of endurance.
It’s the part that kept you alive when life was too much for someone so small.
With compassion, therapy, and inner work — especially trauma-informed modalities like IFS, somatic work, and reparenting — those parts can finally begin to trust that it’s safe to grow.
You are not too late.
You are not too childish.
You are becoming whole.
Healing Relational Attachment Wounds: A Journey Back to Myself
One of the hardest lessons I had to learn in therapy was this: not everyone will be the person you need.
No one is coming to save you. You have to save yourself.
A couple of years ago, I went through one of the lowest points of my life. I spent a lot of time reaching out to close friends — for reassurance, validation, emotional regulation — hoping they could offer the support I couldn’t yet give myself.
Because I didn’t fully trust my own inner judgment, I relied on others to tell me I was okay.
But when I didn’t get the responses I needed, I remember staring at my phone, feeling that sting of disappointment.
Was I asking for too much? Was I too much? Not enough? Too heavy? Too sensitive? Too dark?
It took deep work in therapy to get to a place where I could learn to be the person I needed in those moments.
Yes, relationships are important — and sometimes we do need others to co-regulate with us — but they can’t stop the pain for us. Only we can.
By learning to offer myself the love, care, and guidance I didn’t get as a child, I began to rewrite that old story.
What I’ve learned since then is that people can love you deeply and still lack the emotional capacity to hold space for your pain.
Some people don’t know how to handle vulnerability because it reminds them of their own. Others are in their own battles — too drained to give more. Some are triggered by their own emotional wounds, trying to work through them, or maybe they aren’t even aware of them yet.
And that doesn’t mean they’re bad friends — it means they’re human.
Once I started seeing it that way, I stopped taking everything so personally. I began to separate my needs from their limitations, and that shift became a massive turning point in my healing journey.
When I accepted that not everyone could be my safe place, I stopped trying to make them fit into roles they were never meant to play.
Looking back, I realized that my attempts to make others fit those roles were really attempts to control the outcome — to make people show up in ways that made me feel safe.
But safety doesn’t come from control; it comes from trust — especially trust in myself.
Instead, I learned to:
• Lean on friends who could listen without trying to fix me.
• Continue healing my relational wounds in therapy for deeper emotional connection to my parts that needed re-parenting.
• Go inward and support my inner child — the part of me that once felt unseen, not enough, and too much all at the same time.
• Listen to my intuition more than ever before.
• Reach out to trusted friends, family, and, always, my therapist (shoutout to LR) when I need help processing.
And surprisingly, that created space for new people — people who could meet me where I was, without judgment or confusion. People who didn’t make me feel like I was too much or a burden.
I’m still working on not performing anymore — on simply being.
The truth is, once you stop expecting everyone to understand you, you find the ones who actually do.
It means releasing control.
It means forgiving people for not being able to show up in the way you hoped.
And most importantly, it means showing up for yourself in the ways no one else can.
Healing isn’t about cutting people out; it’s about setting realistic expectations for who they are and what they can give. That’s not bitterness — that’s self-awareness.
Learning that not everyone will be the person you need can feel like loss — but really, it’s a form of clarity.
You stop chasing validation. You stop overexplaining.
And you start building relationships rooted in mutual understanding, not emotional debt.
Because the truth is, you don’t need everyone.
You just need a few real ones — and yourself.
Why Virtual Therapy Works & How It Can Benefit You
In today’s fast-paced world, finding time for self-care and emotional healing can be challenging. Virtual therapy, also known as online counseling or teletherapy, has become a trusted and effective option for many individuals seeking support. At Hope Counseling PLLC, we’ve seen how virtual therapy can help people build resilience, manage stress, and work through life’s challenges — all from the comfort of home.
Virtual therapy removes many of the barriers that keep people from getting the help they need. For those living in rural areas, balancing busy schedules, or facing mobility or transportation issues, online counseling offers accessibility and convenience. Sessions can take place from your home, office, or any private space with a secure internet connection, making it easier to stay consistent with your care. Therapy fits into your life — not the other way around.
Comfort is another key benefit. Meeting with a therapist from a familiar environment often helps clients feel more relaxed and open. Many find that it’s easier to process emotions and engage authentically when surrounded by the comforts of home. Virtual sessions also provide a high level of privacy; there are no waiting rooms and no chance encounters, just confidential, one-on-one connection between you and your therapist.
Research consistently shows that online therapy is just as effective as in-person sessions for treating conditions such as anxiety, depression, trauma, and relationship issues. Therapists use the same evidence-based approaches — including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness-based therapy, and trauma-informed care — through secure video platforms designed to protect confidentiality. The quality of care remains the same, with the added benefit of flexibility and accessibility.
Virtual therapy also allows for continuity of care, even when life changes. Whether you’re traveling, moving, or navigating unexpected circumstances, online counseling ensures that your therapeutic journey continues uninterrupted. Maintaining consistent support helps foster growth, stability, and long-term progress.
Perhaps most importantly, virtual therapy empowers you to take charge of your mental health. The flexibility to schedule sessions around your day and the comfort of connecting from your own space can make therapy more sustainable and less stressful. Healing is not defined by a location; it’s defined by connection, trust, and commitment to personal growth.
At Hope Counseling PLLC, we believe that healing can happen anywhere — even through a screen. Our licensed clinicians provide compassionate, professional virtual therapy to clients across multiple states, helping them find balance, clarity, and hope. If you’ve been considering therapy but aren’t sure where to start, virtual counseling might be the right fit for you.
To learn more or schedule a virtual consultation, visit Hope Counseling PLLC and take the first step on your path to healing and growth.
Redefining Safety: Why Avoiding Conflict Isn’t Always the Answer
Many people grow up believing that safety means the absence of conflict. This belief often leads to a lifelong pattern of conflict avoidance — steering clear of disagreement, suppressing needs, and striving to keep the peace at all costs. While this may reduce immediate discomfort, it can also create a false sense of safety and distance us from authenticity and connection.
The Illusion of Safety
Avoiding conflict can feel protective, especially for those who experienced situations where disagreement led to chaos, punishment, or emotional harm. The nervous system learns that conflict equals danger, and appeasement becomes a survival strategy.
However, appeasement and safety are not the same thing. When we prioritize harmony over honesty, we may quiet external conflict but create internal disconnection. True safety does not come from the absence of conflict; it comes from the ability to navigate conflict while staying regulated, self-respecting, and grounded.
Redefining What Safety Means
Safety is not the absence of tension; it is the presence of trust in oneself.
Conflict does not automatically mean that a situation is unsafe. In fact, conflict can sometimes lead to greater safety — when it becomes the space where boundaries are set, needs are communicated, and self-respect is reinforced.
Learning to stay connected to oneself during conflict allows for authentic relationships built on mutual respect rather than avoidance. It communicates, both to others and to the nervous system, “I can keep myself safe, even here.”
The Role of Emotional Regulation
Developing the capacity to remain regulated during conflict is central to this process. When the nervous system senses threat, the amygdala can trigger a fight, flight, or freeze response. For many, this automatic reaction is tied to early experiences where conflict truly was dangerous — emotionally, psychologically, or physically.
Through practice, it is possible to retrain the body and mind to recognize that not all conflict is danger. With support and repetition, the nervous system can learn to tolerate discomfort, differentiate between real threat and emotional challenge, and respond with greater flexibility.
Practicing Internal Safety
Cultivating a sense of safety within conflict takes time and intentional practice. Some helpful starting points include:
Regulating the nervous system – Pause, breathe, and notice physical sensations before reacting. Grounding techniques and mindfulness can help signal safety to the body.
Setting and honoring boundaries – Even small acts of self-advocacy build internal trust and reinforce that one’s needs matter.
Developing a relationship with younger parts – Often, the fear of conflict belongs to a younger part of the self that once felt powerless or unsafe. Creating a compassionate dialogue with this part can provide reassurance and healing.
Reflecting rather than reacting – Taking time to process before responding helps maintain connection and clarity, rather than falling into old protective patterns.
Moving Toward Authentic Safety
Safety is not found in avoiding conflict; it is found in trusting oneself to remain safe within it.
When individuals learn to regulate their emotions, honor their boundaries, and attend to the parts of themselves that feel fearful, they begin to experience a more stable and authentic sense of safety — one that does not depend on external calm but arises from internal trust.
Conflict, when approached with regulation and self-awareness, can become a pathway to growth, integrity, and genuine connection.
When the News Follows Us Into Our Dreams: Regulating a Hypervigilant Nervous System
How to Calm Hypervigilance and Regulate Your Nervous System
As a therapist, I’ve been noticing a new trend in my work: more and more clients are experiencing nightmares connected to current events in America.
What does this mean? It shows that the constant stream of distressing news we’re exposed to every day isn’t just overwhelming during the day—it’s following us into the night. Instead of restorative rest, many are finding their sleep disrupted, leaving them even more depleted.
I believe this is connected to what I call the growing “hum” of hypervigilance. For individuals already carrying fear or anxiety, the nervous system remains on high alert, scanning for threats long after the day is done.
What is Hypervigilance?
Hypervigilance is the body’s way of saying: “I don’t feel safe.” The nervous system switches into survival mode, constantly searching for danger—even when no immediate threat is present.
Over time, this heightened alert state can lead to:
Irritability and mood swings
Exhaustion and chronic fatigue
Poor sleep or nightmares
Difficulty relaxing or focusing
The good news is that there are proven nervous system regulation techniques that can help calm hypervigilance and restore balance.
How to Calm Hypervigilance and Anxiety
Grounding Practices for Anxiety
Grounding helps bring your body back into the present moment. Focus on your breath, notice the sensations in your body, or observe small details in your environment. Allow thoughts to arise, and then let them drift away like waves returning to the ocean.
Meditation for Nervous System Regulation
Even just a few minutes of meditation can help signal safety to your nervous system, quiet the mind, and reduce stress-related hyperarousal.
Community and Co-Regulation
Connection is essential for nervous system health. Spend time with trusted friends or family, check in on loved ones, or get to know someone new. Safe, supportive relationships provide opportunities for co-regulation—our nervous systems “borrow calm” from others.
Core Principles of Nervous System Regulation
Pendulation: Move gently between stress and relaxation. Flexibility, not stillness, is the goal.
Bottom-up regulation: Use the body (breath, movement, sensation) rather than thoughts alone.
Safety cues: Create reminders of safety through predictable routines, soothing spaces, and relationships.
Gradual titration: Release stress in small amounts instead of overwhelming the system.
Techniques for Hypervigilance (Over-activation)
Breathwork: Inhale for 4, exhale for 6–8 to calm the vagus nerve.
Orienting: Slowly look around and name what you see in your environment.
Grounding through touch: Weighted blankets, pressing feet into the ground, or holding a warm mug.
Rhythmic movement: Walking, drumming, rocking.
Brief cold exposure: Splash cold water on your face or hold an ice cube to reset fight-or-flight.
Techniques for Over-Control (Freeze, Rigidity, Collapse)
Sometimes the nervous system goes into shutdown instead of overdrive. Here we aim for gentle reactivation:
Energizing breath: Quick inhales and exhales (such as “breath of fire”).
Playful movement: Dance, shake out the body, bounce on your heels.
Sound: Humming, chanting, or singing to stimulate vagal tone.
Creativity: Free drawing, music, or playful writing.
Micro-risk-taking: Safely breaking small rules (like trying a new route to work) to reduce rigidity.
A Daily Nervous System Regulation Routine
Morning: Gentle stretching and paced breathing.
Midday: Step outside, walk, and notice the horizon.
Afternoon: Take a short shake-out break or play uplifting music.
Evening: Warm shower or bath, then journal to release the day.
Before sleep: Long exhale breathing, dim lights, and use a weighted blanket if desired.
Try This Now: A Short Grounding Exercise
Sit comfortably with both feet on the floor.
Inhale through your nose for a count of four.
Exhale through your mouth for a count of six. Repeat three times.
Use the “5-4-3-2-1” method: name five things you see, four things you touch, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you taste.
Place your hand over your heart and tell yourself: “In this moment, I am safe.”
Even two minutes of this grounding exercise can calm an overactive nervous system.
Final Thoughts on Managing Hypervigilance
If you’re experiencing nightmares, anxiety, or ongoing stress symptoms, you’re not alone. Hypervigilance is a natural response to overwhelming circumstances, but it doesn’t have to control your days—or your nights.
With grounding practices, nervous system regulation techniques, and supportive community, you can begin to reclaim rest, presence, and safety.
As always, our therapists are here to help. If you are struggling and would like additional support, please reach out. You don’t have to navigate this alone.
Signs You Might Be Experiencing Burnout (and How to Recover)
What is Burnout?
Burnout is more than being tired—it’s a state of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion caused by chronic stress. Many people mistake burnout for laziness or a lack of willpower, but it’s actually your body and mind signaling that something deeper needs attention.
As Dr. Pooja Lakshmin explains in Real Self-Care, recovery doesn’t come from bubble baths or expensive retreats. True healing means building systems, boundaries, and choices that honor your real needs.
Common Signs of Burnout
Emotional Signs of Burnout
Exhaustion feels permanent. Sleep or vacations don’t restore your energy.
Loss of motivation. Even things that once mattered feel meaningless.
Detachment. You feel disconnected from work, relationships, or your own emotions.
Physical Signs of Burnout
Chronic fatigue. You wake up tired, no matter how much you rest.
Stress-related health issues. Headaches, digestive problems, or muscle tension become frequent.
Weakened immunity. You catch colds or infections more easily.
Behavioral Signs of Burnout
Procrastination. Even small tasks feel overwhelming.
Irritability. You’re more easily frustrated with colleagues, friends, or family.
Withdrawal. You avoid social situations or responsibilities.
How to Recover from Burnout with Real Self-Care
1. Reframe What Self-Care Really Means
Self-care isn’t a luxury spa treatment—it’s making choices that align with your values and protect your well-being.
2. Set Boundaries
Learn to say “no” without guilt. Every yes to someone else can be a no to yourself if it drains your energy.
3. Reconnect With Your Values
Ask yourself: Am I living my life, or someone else’s expectations? Burnout often signals a disconnect between what matters to you and how you spend your time.
4. Take Small, Consistent Steps
Choose one manageable action—like journaling for five minutes a day, walking outside, or turning off work email after hours—and stick with it. Small changes compound into lasting recovery.
5. Seek Support
Burnout recovery isn’t a solo project. Therapy, coaching, or leaning on community can help you process stress and build sustainable habits.
When to Seek Professional Help
If burnout symptoms don’t improve after rest and lifestyle changes—or if they impact your ability to function day to day—consider talking to a healthcare provider or therapist. Professional support can provide both validation and practical tools.
Final Thoughts
Burnout isn’t a personal failure—it’s a signal. By recognizing the signs early and practicing real self-care, you can restore energy, clarity, and purpose.
Want more strategies? Check out Real Self-Care by Dr. Pooja Lakshmin for deeper insights into building boundaries and creating lasting change.
A Beginner’s Guide to Therapy Modalities (Without All the Alphabet Soup)
So you’re thinking about therapy (go you 👏). Maybe you’ve Googled around a bit, only to land in a sea of acronyms: CBT, DBT, ACT, EFT… it can feel like therapy is more of a spelling bee than a healing process. Let’s break it down—smart, simple, and no jargon overload.
1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Think of CBT as the reality-check friend of therapy. It’s all about noticing those sneaky, unhelpful thoughts (“I’ll never be good at this”) and swapping them out for ones that actually serve you. It’s practical, goal-oriented, and often short-term. If your brain feels stuck on repeat, CBT is like hitting shuffle.
2. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
DBT is CBT’s cool cousin with extra coping skills. It’s designed for folks who feel emotions intensely. You’ll learn mindfulness (staying present), distress tolerance (riding out the tough stuff), emotional regulation (managing big feelings), and interpersonal effectiveness (a fancy way of saying: getting along with people without losing your mind).
3. Psychodynamic Therapy
This is the deep dive of therapy. Psychodynamic work explores how your past (think: childhood, family patterns, early relationships) shows up in your present. If CBT is like updating the software on your phone, psychodynamic therapy is more like digging into why your phone keeps downloading weird apps in the first place.
4. Humanistic / Person-Centered Therapy
Imagine sitting with someone who really gets you, no judgment, just curiosity and support. That’s the heart of humanistic therapy. The idea is: given the right environment, you’ll naturally grow. It’s less about fixing and more about exploring who you are and where you want to go.
5. Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT)
This one’s all about the now and next. Instead of dissecting every problem, you and your therapist zero in on your strengths and the solutions that already exist in your life. Think of it as therapy in the express lane.
6. Couples & Family Therapy
No, this isn’t just about venting at your partner with a referee in the room. Couples and family therapy looks at the bigger system: how communication patterns, roles, and habits affect everyone. Whether it’s learning new ways to argue (yes, there are healthy ways) or reconnecting emotionally, this modality is all about relationships.
7. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
EMDR sounds complicated, but here’s the gist: it helps your brain reprocess traumatic memories so they lose their sting. Therapists often use guided eye movements or other bilateral stimulation (like tapping). It’s especially effective for trauma and PTSD.
8. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
ACT teaches you to stop wrestling with your thoughts and start living by your values. You learn to accept what you can’t change, commit to what matters, and make choices that align with the life you want. Basically: less overthinking, more meaning.
9. Mindfulness-Based Therapies
These approaches pull from meditation and mindfulness practices. The goal? Helping you slow down, notice what’s happening in the present moment, and respond instead of react. If your brain is a browser with 47 tabs open, mindfulness is closing a few.
10. Narrative Therapy
Narrative therapy helps you step back and see yourself as more than your problems. Instead of “I am anxious,” you might begin to see “anxiety is something I experience.” It’s about rewriting your story in a way that’s empowering, not limiting.
So… which one is right for me?
Here’s the truth: you don’t need to know all of this before starting therapy. Most therapists blend modalities based on what works best for you. The important part is finding someone you feel comfortable with—because the best “modality” is the one that helps you feel seen, heard, and supported.
Bottom line: Therapy isn’t about acronyms—it’s about growth, healing, and finding tools that fit your life. You bring the curiosity; the therapist brings the toolkit.
The Healing Power of Connection in Difficult Times
In light of the events that have unfolded in our country over the last few days, I felt it was important to pause my trauma series and speak to something we all need right now: connection.
It’s so easy to get swept up in the endless stream of news, social media posts, and emotional reactions. We take in not only the information but also the emotions of others, while still trying to regulate our own nervous systems. Every time we read a heartfelt or triggering post, our bodies respond. And right now, much of our country is responding with fear, anger, grief, and outrage.
But connection is the key to all of this.
Our world feels fractured. We’ve lost the ability to sit with one another, to hear another perspective without immediately retreating into disagreement. Sometimes, “agreeing to disagree” is healthy—but too often lately, it’s become a dividing line that tears apart friendships, families, and even communities. This inability to communicate with compassion outside of the internet is one of the great downfalls we face right now.
When we distance ourselves from the lived experiences of others, misunderstanding grows. Fear grows. The “other” becomes someone to avoid, rather than someone to learn from. Yet if we can lean into safer, more open conversations—if we can step outside our comfort zones and truly listen—we plant seeds of openness, diversity, and curiosity that have the power to bloom into something better.
Because at the core, we all need each other.
Parents want to send their children to school without fear. We don’t want our children to practice lockdown drills. We don’t want to turn on the TV and witness violence. We don’t want to lose loved ones because of the values they hold or the rallies they attend. We don’t want to live in fear of one another.
It’s important to acknowledge that it’s okay to feel fear, sadness, or anger in times like these. These emotions are part of being human. They remind us of what matters to us most. But we don’t have to carry them alone—sharing them with others in safe, supportive spaces can help lighten the load.
What we are experiencing now as a country is collective trauma. Trauma happens when our minds cannot fully process the weight of what we’re experiencing—both emotionally and logically. And the truth is, healing from trauma requires connection.
We heal when our voices are heard. We heal when our stories are validated. We heal when we feel understood by others.
And connection doesn’t have to be complicated. It can look like calling a friend, sharing a meal with a neighbor, checking in on a loved one, or joining a local community gathering. Small steps toward each other are powerful reminders that we are not alone in this.
So, in this moment, let us choose to reach for connection. Let us sit with one another, not just online, but face-to-face. Let us speak, listen, and truly hear. Let us seek understanding over fear.
The path forward is not easy—but together, we can create it. If each of us takes even one small step toward connection, we begin to shift the story we are living through.
Trauma and Your Inner Child
It all begins with an idea.
When we experience trauma, especially in childhood, it can profoundly shape how we view the world and ourselves. Complex PTSD (CPTSD), which often results from prolonged or repeated trauma such as childhood abuse, neglect, or relational trauma, can impact many areas of life. Symptoms may include:
Difficulty regulating emotions
Challenges with identity and sense of self
Strained relationships or fear of closeness
Anxiety, flashbacks, or nightmares
Avoidance of situations, places, or people linked to the trauma
Heightened emotional responses, such as impulsivity or aggression
Persistent negative thoughts and feelings
Hypervigilance or excessive attention to potential danger
CPTSD can also affect how we show up in relationships. Individuals may struggle with trust, fear rejection, have difficulty setting boundaries, or find themselves repeating familiar trauma patterns. Emotional dysregulation can make expressing feelings safely challenging, and hypervigilance may make ordinary interactions feel threatening.
When Trauma Triggers Younger Parts of Ourselves
Sometimes, trauma activates parts of ourselves that carry younger experiences—our inner child. When this happens, we may not behave like the adult we want to be. We might know intellectually how we want to respond, yet still react through old patterns.
Acknowledging and soothing your inner child is a key part of healing. This process, often called “reparenting,” involves offering the care and support that you needed as a child but didn’t receive. Here’s a step-by-step approach:
Tune into your body
Notice where you are feeling triggered. How old does this part of you feel? Often, it may feel younger than you are now.Identify the emotions
What is this part feeling—sadness, grief, jealousy, fear? Allow the emotions to exist without trying to change them in the moment.Validate the experience
All emotions are valid, even if not all behaviors are. Acknowledge that this part’s feelings are real and understandable.Offer reassurance
Let your inner child know that you are present, you will protect them, and that they are not alone. Repeat this as often as needed.
It may not work perfectly at first, but with regular practice, tuning into your body and attending to its needs can help you regulate emotions more effectively and respond from a place of compassion rather than old trauma patterns.