Signs You Might Be Experiencing Burnout (and How to Recover)

What is Burnout?

Burnout is more than being tired—it’s a state of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion caused by chronic stress. Many people mistake burnout for laziness or a lack of willpower, but it’s actually your body and mind signaling that something deeper needs attention.

As Dr. Pooja Lakshmin explains in Real Self-Care, recovery doesn’t come from bubble baths or expensive retreats. True healing means building systems, boundaries, and choices that honor your real needs.

Common Signs of Burnout

Emotional Signs of Burnout

• Exhaustion feels permanent. Sleep or vacations don’t restore your energy.

• Loss of motivation. Even things that once mattered feel meaningless.

• Detachment. You feel disconnected from work, relationships, or your own emotions.

Physical Signs of Burnout

• Chronic fatigue. You wake up tired, no matter how much you rest.

• Stress-related health issues. Headaches, digestive problems, or muscle tension become frequent.

• Weakened immunity. You catch colds or infections more easily.

Behavioral Signs of Burnout

• Procrastination. Even small tasks feel overwhelming.

• Irritability. You’re more easily frustrated with colleagues, friends, or family.

• Withdrawal. You avoid social situations or responsibilities.

How to Recover from Burnout with Real Self-Care

1. Reframe What Self-Care Really Means

Self-care isn’t a luxury spa treatment—it’s making choices that align with your values and protect your well-being.

2. Set Boundaries

Learn to say “no” without guilt. Every yes to someone else can be a no to yourself if it drains your energy.

3. Reconnect With Your Values

Ask yourself: Am I living my life, or someone else’s expectations? Burnout often signals a disconnect between what matters to you and how you spend your time.

4. Take Small, Consistent Steps

Choose one manageable action—like journaling for five minutes a day, walking outside, or turning off work email after hours—and stick with it. Small changes compound into lasting recovery.

5. Seek Support

Burnout recovery isn’t a solo project. Therapy, coaching, or leaning on community can help you process stress and build sustainable habits.

When to Seek Professional Help

If burnout symptoms don’t improve after rest and lifestyle changes—or if they impact your ability to function day to day—consider talking to a healthcare provider or therapist. Professional support can provide both validation and practical tools.

Final Thoughts

Burnout isn’t a personal failure—it’s a signal. By recognizing the signs early and practicing real self-care, you can restore energy, clarity, and purpose.

Want more strategies? Check out Real Self-Care by Dr. Pooja Lakshmin for deeper insights into building boundaries and creating lasting change.

A Beginner’s Guide to Therapy Modalities (Without All the Alphabet Soup)

So you’re thinking about therapy (go you 👏). Maybe you’ve Googled around a bit, only to land in a sea of acronyms: CBT, DBT, ACT, EFT… it can feel like therapy is more of a spelling bee than a healing process. Let’s break it down—smart, simple, and no jargon overload.

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Think of CBT as the reality-check friend of therapy. It’s all about noticing those sneaky, unhelpful thoughts (“I’ll never be good at this”) and swapping them out for ones that actually serve you. It’s practical, goal-oriented, and often short-term. If your brain feels stuck on repeat, CBT is like hitting shuffle.

2. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

DBT is CBT’s cool cousin with extra coping skills. It’s designed for folks who feel emotions intensely. You’ll learn mindfulness (staying present), distress tolerance (riding out the tough stuff), emotional regulation (managing big feelings), and interpersonal effectiveness (a fancy way of saying: getting along with people without losing your mind).

3. Psychodynamic Therapy

This is the deep dive of therapy. Psychodynamic work explores how your past (think: childhood, family patterns, early relationships) shows up in your present. If CBT is like updating the software on your phone, psychodynamic therapy is more like digging into why your phone keeps downloading weird apps in the first place.

4. Humanistic / Person-Centered Therapy

Imagine sitting with someone who really gets you, no judgment, just curiosity and support. That’s the heart of humanistic therapy. The idea is: given the right environment, you’ll naturally grow. It’s less about fixing and more about exploring who you are and where you want to go.

5. Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT)

This one’s all about the now and next. Instead of dissecting every problem, you and your therapist zero in on your strengths and the solutions that already exist in your life. Think of it as therapy in the express lane.

6. Couples & Family Therapy

No, this isn’t just about venting at your partner with a referee in the room. Couples and family therapy looks at the bigger system: how communication patterns, roles, and habits affect everyone. Whether it’s learning new ways to argue (yes, there are healthy ways) or reconnecting emotionally, this modality is all about relationships.

7. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

EMDR sounds complicated, but here’s the gist: it helps your brain reprocess traumatic memories so they lose their sting. Therapists often use guided eye movements or other bilateral stimulation (like tapping). It’s especially effective for trauma and PTSD.

8. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT teaches you to stop wrestling with your thoughts and start living by your values. You learn to accept what you can’t change, commit to what matters, and make choices that align with the life you want. Basically: less overthinking, more meaning.

9. Mindfulness-Based Therapies

These approaches pull from meditation and mindfulness practices. The goal? Helping you slow down, notice what’s happening in the present moment, and respond instead of react. If your brain is a browser with 47 tabs open, mindfulness is closing a few.

10. Narrative Therapy

Narrative therapy helps you step back and see yourself as more than your problems. Instead of “I am anxious,” you might begin to see “anxiety is something I experience.” It’s about rewriting your story in a way that’s empowering, not limiting.

So… which one is right for me?

Here’s the truth: you don’t need to know all of this before starting therapy. Most therapists blend modalities based on what works best for you. The important part is finding someone you feel comfortable with—because the best “modality” is the one that helps you feel seen, heard, and supported.

Bottom line: Therapy isn’t about acronyms—it’s about growth, healing, and finding tools that fit your life. You bring the curiosity; the therapist brings the toolkit.

The Healing Power of Connection in Difficult Times

In light of the events that have unfolded in our country over the last few days, I felt it was important to pause my trauma series and speak to something we all need right now: connection.

It’s so easy to get swept up in the endless stream of news, social media posts, and emotional reactions. We take in not only the information but also the emotions of others, while still trying to regulate our own nervous systems. Every time we read a heartfelt or triggering post, our bodies respond. And right now, much of our country is responding with fear, anger, grief, and outrage.

But connection is the key to all of this.

Our world feels fractured. We’ve lost the ability to sit with one another, to hear another perspective without immediately retreating into disagreement. Sometimes, “agreeing to disagree” is healthy—but too often lately, it’s become a dividing line that tears apart friendships, families, and even communities. This inability to communicate with compassion outside of the internet is one of the great downfalls we face right now.

When we distance ourselves from the lived experiences of others, misunderstanding grows. Fear grows. The “other” becomes someone to avoid, rather than someone to learn from. Yet if we can lean into safer, more open conversations—if we can step outside our comfort zones and truly listen—we plant seeds of openness, diversity, and curiosity that have the power to bloom into something better.

Because at the core, we all need each other.

Parents want to send their children to school without fear. We don’t want our children to practice lockdown drills. We don’t want to turn on the TV and witness violence. We don’t want to lose loved ones because of the values they hold or the rallies they attend. We don’t want to live in fear of one another.

It’s important to acknowledge that it’s okay to feel fear, sadness, or anger in times like these. These emotions are part of being human. They remind us of what matters to us most. But we don’t have to carry them alone—sharing them with others in safe, supportive spaces can help lighten the load.

What we are experiencing now as a country is collective trauma. Trauma happens when our minds cannot fully process the weight of what we’re experiencing—both emotionally and logically. And the truth is, healing from trauma requires connection.

We heal when our voices are heard. We heal when our stories are validated. We heal when we feel understood by others.

And connection doesn’t have to be complicated. It can look like calling a friend, sharing a meal with a neighbor, checking in on a loved one, or joining a local community gathering. Small steps toward each other are powerful reminders that we are not alone in this.

So, in this moment, let us choose to reach for connection. Let us sit with one another, not just online, but face-to-face. Let us speak, listen, and truly hear. Let us seek understanding over fear.

The path forward is not easy—but together, we can create it. If each of us takes even one small step toward connection, we begin to shift the story we are living through.

Trauma and Your Inner Child

When we experience trauma, especially in childhood, it can profoundly shape how we view the world and ourselves. Complex PTSD (CPTSD), which often results from prolonged or repeated trauma such as childhood abuse, neglect, or relational trauma, can impact many areas of life. Symptoms may include:

• Difficulty regulating emotions

• Challenges with identity and sense of self

• Strained relationships or fear of closeness

• Anxiety, flashbacks, or nightmares

• Avoidance of situations, places, or people linked to the trauma

• Heightened emotional responses, such as impulsivity or aggression

• Persistent negative thoughts and feelings

• Hypervigilance or excessive attention to potential danger

CPTSD can also affect how we show up in relationships. Individuals may struggle with trust, fear rejection, have difficulty setting boundaries, or find themselves repeating familiar trauma patterns. Emotional dysregulation can make expressing feelings safely challenging, and hypervigilance may make ordinary interactions feel threatening.

When Trauma Triggers Younger Parts of Ourselves

Sometimes, trauma activates parts of ourselves that carry younger experiences—our inner child. When this happens, we may not behave like the adult we want to be. We might know intellectually how we want to respond, yet still react through old patterns.

Acknowledging and soothing your inner child is a key part of healing. This process, often called “reparenting,” involves offering the care and support that you needed as a child but didn’t receive. Here’s a step-by-step approach:

1. Tune into your body
   Notice where you are feeling triggered. How old does this part of you feel? Often, it may feel younger than you are now.

2. Identify the emotions
   What is this part feeling—sadness, grief, jealousy, fear? Allow the emotions to exist without trying to change them in the moment.

3. Validate the experience
   All emotions are valid, even if not all behaviors are. Acknowledge that this part’s feelings are real and understandable.

4. Offer reassurance
   Let your inner child know that you are present, you will protect them, and that they are not alone. Repeat this as often as needed.

It may not work perfectly at first, but with regular practice, tuning into your body and attending to its needs can help you regulate emotions more effectively and respond from a place of compassion rather than old trauma patterns.